Murdered
by Spectral-Aspen
Summary: Life is weird.


So, this in in second person (which is terrible) but it's short and dumb and funny so hopefully it won't detract too much from the story.  
You can just insert whoever you feel like into the PoV person's spot.

Warning for swearing and mentioned murder.

 _Italics are earpiece/comm chatter._

* * *

You stride down the street, head down but alert to your surroundings. Your earpiece is quiet for the time being, and you've almost made it to the extraction point, just a few more blocks and you'll be home free. Then it's just a (painfully) long debrief and a (very) roundabout walk before you can relax for the first time in three weeks.

Undercover ops suck big time.

Just as you turn the corner someone slams into you, and you barely manage to keep yourself from killing the unknown person.

Still on your feet you look down at the small woman, sitting on her ass with a bag, bits of pottery, and a fair amount of dirt and plant matter scattered around her.

She glares up at you accusingly, "You killed Ally!"

Your earpiece flares to life, several different voices suddenly speaking at once.

 _"The hell did she just say?"_

 _"You cannot be serious."_

 _"YOU KILLED SOMEONE?"_

You wince at the cacophony and glare back at her, "You can't be serious."

 _"You're in a heavily populated area, did you really just deny a murder?"_

She sneers, slowly gathering her bag and staring despondently down at her perfectly intact, albeit now unpotted, plant. "Ally has been my companion for years you bastard!"

 _"What the hell is going on?"_

"Ally is a plant."

 _"This mission was carried out in complete secrecy! How is there a plant!?_

 _"Did you just say there was a plant?"_

 _"We're in so much trouble!"_

You sigh, its times like this you wish damage control was a phrase you'd never heard of, (and that you could directly talk to your idiotic handlers and tell them to calm the fuck down). "You named your aloe vera plant Ally?"

 _"Wait, the plant is a plant plant?"_

 _"Did you really just say 'plant plant'?"_

 _"I'm so confused."_

She growls, "Ally is a perfectly respectable name," as if that was the part of this encounter that you were genuinely worried about.

"You know you can just repot… her… right?"

 _"I have no idea what is going on-"_

 _"Join the club."_

 _"-but you need to get the hell out of there, stat."_

The woman carefully starts putting all the pottery shards in a pile, "If I knew where to get the proper soil for my baby I would, but I've just moved to this area."

I look around, the ever moving crowd of people leaving a wide berth around us. Nobody looks at us twice.

"Friendly area you've chosen."

 _"Are you making small talk?"_

 _"I said get out of there you idiot."_

She huffs, glares at the pile of pottery, and pulls a neon orange reusable bag out of her purse. "I've noticed, thanks." Each word is surprisingly loathing.

 _"She sounds mad."_

 _"I said get out of there. YOU. IDIOT."_

You scoff and look at her, surprised when you feel slightly guilty watching her carefully cradle her aloe vera plant to her chest, fluorescent bag of shattered pottery clacking on one arm as she carefully stands up.

"I'm sure that this'll be an isolated occurrence."

She glowers at you, "Right."

You frown and consider her more carefully, taking in a distinct lack of anything that might cause her to be out and about, "…were you taking your plant for a walk?"

 _"This lady is crazy, you should move."_

 _"We don't live here-"_

 _"Thank god for that!"_

 _"-why would we move?"_

 _"He meant move, as in move to the rendezvous he needs to be at in 5 minutes, like I've been telling him to do."_

 _"Shut up."_

She blatantly shifts away from me to more safely guard Ally from any possibly hostile move I might make against her, "…No."

You look at her skeptically," Right, okay, I'm just gonna go. Over there. As in not here anymore." You give an arrogant wave and stride past her, making sure to walk around her in the direction that keeps you furthest from Ally on the off chance that this crazy lady is willing to commit physical harm to protect her pet plant.

You don't look back, but you can feel her glaring at you as you round a corner and break her line of sight.

 _"That was really fucking weird."_

"Shut up."

* * *

I feel like this could be any number of people in any number of fandoms... who do you think it is?  
(Sorry for any terrible grammar, I just finished 8 hours of classes)


End file.
